Is Anybody Listening?

I guess no . This is an unrelenting World. That girl/boy you last took for a friend couldn't possibly care any less as long as you don't come plodding into their lives at your own beck and call (Do some introspection and maybe you think much the same barring a few exceptions you'd make). And when the realisation hits you finally (as if it hadn't made itself conspicuous enough already), you shall feel all so weak at your knees. Oh the traitors, the scavengers who shredded your soul and walked away without even turning once! When o' when shall it be?! ... and when shalt you haveth the peace you always thought was at an arms reach.

Hmmm... cynical me. Well it does feel good to vomit out all the caustic stuff, once in a while. Atleast the medium I choose to do so has a certain amount of anonymous dignity.

As for now I can't quite figure out what's with this self-motivation-getting-vapourized syndrome I seem to be exhibiting. Hehe, can't help but to recall this line I heard somewhere recently, "It's time to prove your friends that you're worth a damn. Sometimes it means killing yourself and sometimes it means killing a whole lot of people". Oh yes, maybe in as much as I want to deny it, I am trying to prove myself. This is weird (and certainly not helpful), as I know all this shit deal I'm trying to pull off for myself and somehow I still haven't got much of an energy left to counter it with a more meaningful eventuality. Heh, I kind of did the dumbest thing I guess. Oh yeah, I am not the only one doing so. Everyone around is in much the same situation. Just that they all seem to have drawn out some semblance of balance (which elludes/least interests me).

This is not superiority but something quite on the contrary. However, I still prefer it this way. Though perhaps, this drifting existence shall find a more meaningful purpose in good time to come. Until then, I'd better just wait it out.

This isn't the bar room brawl! These are the bad days, the all and nothing days, and you're back!