Sigh, and I so don't quite remember how to carry forward from wherever i left the last piece. But well, i guess to have everything linked and following a rational flow takes away the delight from an already semi-charmed life. No, it wasn't always like this (and yeah! i'm pretty sure it wouldnt be like this for long). Er, no am not in a depression thingie (which happens to be quite a "hip" state to exist in these days). You could say, (like i watched on one of them Hollywood flicks), I am into a premature-mid-life-crisis (this is where the anti-hero passes an insouciant look and says, "Get a life pig-head"). Sigh. That, i fear, is going to take time. Reclaim your life. Quite a catchy phrase but surely carries a certain ring of truth about it. Without delving into the unfathomable profundity of issues like "LIFE", i shall conveniently tread the desultory lines of free-speech-association. Oh and the crisis now that i remember. Umm, weeellll I am freaking ambitious with an attitude to do nothing about it. Ya ya, you know where i'm driving at. Not the first to be saying all this, but not the last either. However, I apparently struck on a more justifying explanation for all this. It basically boils down to making a choice between "Have i under-estimated myself as opposed to Am i f***ing over-estimated by those around, so much so that they fail to realise i am not all that!". Save all the nods for some better cause to agree to, 'coz once you are there, i can assure you there's not much fun in it ;p
Ah well, this thing does work actually. Have been sweating out the past useless minutes trying to kill the purpose-less-ness with some sort of creative end product. Blah, but for all i managed was to get entangled within the thorughly perplexing maze of "How the f*@# does one post a BLOG?"! Anyways, now that i am here, i have surely forgotten any and all "creative" outputs i was s'posed to unleash through this medium, for the while. Gah, i am employed now ... and i should be working, but welll the defintion takes on a completely different meaning when i put myself into perspective. This is a multi-million (and soon you could replace the "m" with a "b") company. Revenues are rolling in, employee/r(s) are more than happy for their share of monetary grub coming in. Though what puts me into sheer amazement is the way i'm surviving myself out here. No! i am not at the receiving end of some conglomeraterial conspiracy here. No racist oppression and neither any sort of sexual (sigh) mish-mash. I am just here. Coming in each day in the morning (considering the sun shines relatively bright at 10am) and going back in the evening. For companionship i've got this remarkable feat of engineering, namely a workstation. Ahh, there are the "others" too! Their presence being transmitted through the mazes of networking cables and finally showing up in the form of a "messenger" window. In this world of Artificial (not-so-) Intelligence, it's kind of ironic when a piece of software oozes the "human-touch". Either through the purpose served by it or the sobriquet carried by it. A "messenger" in the present context of my reference. Anyways, it is not the pervasiveness of this "Computers-and-not-dogs-are-a-mans-best-friend" situation that bothers me. It is the "nothingness". I mean, yeah what the hell , i was forewarned wasn't I ?? But then i was an under-graduate student, all hip, dreamy-floating-mind. The not-so-yet-so "beat" generation. Self-preservation was but an incredibly simple task which all the gainfully employed masses around seemed to be losing out on. We were to be the beacons, who showed them the way and spread thee Light! hehe ..... naaahh, wasn't really soo dramatic, but well, a much toned down version and you're almost there. And so I stepped into this world brimming (and shimmering perhaps) with all the enthusiasm of anti-establishmentarianism...... .....Err, i've got to run now (i'll miss my bus, my only means of travel, otherwise :/ )
