dEmOns

Seems a bit weird that I think of writing about something as such, as suggested, after watching a movie which evoked all the fears which I've harboured for ages now. Perhaps, this might indeed be a good way to keep my mind off it. I have just watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose and no, I'm not going to put forth my evaluation which gauges this movie on various points governing the creation of an intellectually stimulating work of art. Well if that's what one can be permitted to term modern day movies that is.

As I sat watching the end credits roll up, the distinct chill of acknowledging the fear that arises from mildly perceptible "extra-sensory" (?) sensations, started to take effect. That sudden switching-off of a bulb, or the twitches and screeches which one would willingly attribute to reasons which don't even deserve a second thought, became signs all so potent. My ears twitched alert, ready to home in on any and all sounds which should have a source but apparently don't. The goosebumps on my hand assuring me that I'm scared. This is fear I guess. The fear of the uncertain. A fear which I've always possessed and been attracted to. A weird way of going about things but well, there's no point explaining it as such. Maybe it's not really fear-fear but possibly an addiction to being exposed to the supernatural and treat every such encounter as a learning experience. An experience to open my mind to things which might just happen. Though I hope my education in fear never really translates into reality any time.

But then, if it ain't the devils from Hell, what about the ones which prance around in the head? The demons of mind, can't they be just as potent? Perhaps, they can never really aspire to achieve the similar levels of infamy as their relations cast in various movies and modes of compelling literature. Oh yes, how many times has it been when you committed an act which in any normal circumstance would be one of the most dastardly acts of malice or affliction you can possibly think of. Certainly never-ever? Perhaps you might like to go for something milder? Ego, self-interest, jealousy, insecurity, or plain old simple mental instability? Man, only I know for sure how many times I've given into my own dEmons. But then, it's just as simple to cast them aside as an aberration to my otherwise charming and normal behaviour. What if one day I just can't? Now I'm supremely confident that I (and for that matter my aberrational traits) for one, am incapable of causing any sort of physical injury to another innocent soul. However, how much can the dEmons be really controlled from pushing myself over the edge? Such a possibility still seems rather remote but that's surely not due to the lack of trying on part of them dEmons. I'm still strong enough to fend off the bouts but in those fleeting moments how much do I grieve those who really like me, I'm not too sure. It shows I think. They are getting tired of liking me. But they won't give up so easily on me. And for that I'm grateful.

I still believe it is very much within my powers to keep the dance of dEmons from truly achieving something to ingratiate their fictitious existence. The devils might screech all night, but oh yes, they can go back to Hell if they like. I'll stay!